Like most things in life, cultural and societal views on sex and romantic relationships has changed over the years. It has waxed and waned in the realm of public acceptance. Some decades were a world of sexual revelation and others were more reserved and refined. The 1960’s and 1970’s are known for being the decades of sexual revolution but when you look back on history, you see each generation had a sexual awakening of their own. This latest generation is no different. Something called the hookup culture is prevalent with young and college age Americans and it may have something to do with the pressure put on them to succeed.
The hookup culture is a culture of no strings attached, casual sex. It has all but replaced dating all together. The word itself “hookup” relates to anything physical a couple can do. From kissing, petting and intimate touches to full blown sex, it’s all considered a hookup. Dating is thought of as energy consuming as well a commitment-ladled disaster waiting to happen. You would only resort to dating if you have totally fallen in love and plan to become married.
This whole concept seems extremely complicated and convoluted to older generations used to a courtship culture. The truth is, it can be just as confusing for the young people enmeshed in the lifestyle. The term “hookup” can entail so much it is hard for young people to figure out the essence of the relationship in at times. Another problem that can arise is the different meaning the word has for men as opposed to women. What hookup means to a man doesn’t necessarily mean it will mean the same thing to the woman he has his eye on. Instead of asking a girl out and having a date to show interest, today’s young simply meet up somewhere and if sex happens, it happens. If not, so what?
There was a time when no one would dare venture out on a weekend night without a date. It was embarrassing and a bit weird. You may even end up with a bad reputation and a nasty stigma. Now, women and men alike show up stag anywhere and everywhere. No one gives it a second thought. One reason dating seems to be taking a backseat in the modern college student’s life is because of the incredible strain that is placed upon then. Time constraints are massive and many people just do not have the time to spend courting someone else or feeding a relationship. School, studying, and work take up the majority of student’s time in their stride to achieve success in life. Dating is put on the back burner because it isn’t as important to young people of this generation to have a relationship, as it is to have a successful job and all it entails. This is especially true if there are student loans and other debt to pay off.
One contributing factor to this laxer sexual environment is that male/female friendships are far more prevalent than ever before. (When men can never be “Just Friends”) There was once a time when women did not socialize with any men but her family and boyfriend. Opposite sex friendships occur regularly today. This development has allowed men and women a better understanding of each other and their needs. The evolution to buddy-fucking or friends with benefits, was natural. It was a normal part of human interaction.
Many people believe this hookup culture is more beneficial to men than women. Women often end up having feeling and emotional connections to the men they are sleeping with where men do not. Men in this culture are finally given the O.K. to sleep around without a care. While some see that as beneficial to men, many women see an advantage to it as well. They claim not all women are prone to emotional attachment in relation to sex. They express their own joy at being unencumbered by relationship labels and traditional concepts.
A final thought on why this is happening pertains to relationship training. The last generation, jaded from skyrocketed divorce rates, – SEE CHART – were negligent in proper relationship training to this burgeoning generation. Very few of them really know how to connect with someone else on any meaningful level. The hookup culture is a reaction to that deficit in training.