Warning Signs Your Sex Buddy Has Emotional Baggage
Everyone has some sort of emotional baggage they carry around. Be it from a past relationship or a skinned ego, life isn’t perfect and the bad things that happen stick with us longer than we’d like them too. Most people learn their mistakes, chalk it up to a lesson learned, dust themselves off and get back on this mule we call life. The majority of the population is able to deal with these things in a rational manner without it effecting the rest of our lives. There are things that can scar a person mentally and emotionally, leaving a permanent indentation in their personality. If you’re in a sex buddy relationship, the last thing you want to deal with is someone’s emotional baggage. Here are a few warning signs that your sex buddy has emotional baggage.
She is an Emotional Question Mark
She has been great since you first started your fun frolicking adventure in casual sex. Always happy and cheerful, she made it easy to just be yourself and have fun with no strings attached. Strangely, it seems she is never in quite the same mood anymore. You hook up for lunch one day and she seems fine. The next night at dinner she seems cold and distant, making little eye contact. Later that night she’s giggly and fun. This could be a sign she has a lot going on in her head. Little things she hears or sees can trigger bad memories and strange actions. Be on the lookout for any roller-coaster emotions.
Weird Phone Calls
You never spent much time with this girl before, but now that you’re enjoying the occasional hang-out and hookup, your noticing some weird things about her. Like, how often she gets these weird emotional phone calls she always has to excuse herself to the next room to take and comes back from with tear stained, puffy eyes. Asking her what is wrong doesn’t help because she never tells you. Unless a family member is going through a life threatening disaster, she probably enmeshed in some personal drama that you know nothing about.
Compulsivity and OCD-like Behavior
Unchecked emotional issues can manifest in compulsive actions and words. Watch out for any sign that she does anything to excess, habitually or compulsively. It could be anything from smoking, drinking overeating and gambling to things like sleeping late, cleaning, or washing her hands. Being super clean or having weird habits doesn’t necessarily make you an emotional pariah but if the behavior is way over the top it is a good indicator that something else is going on her life.
Obsessive, jealous and Clingy
These are big relationship killers no matter what kind of thing you got going on but if your only having casual sex this can feel ultra-creepy. A lot of us have had a girlfriend or sex buddy that turned all stage 5 clinger on us and is an experience not soon forgotten. Just a little of this behavior where is isn’t supposed to be sets us on edge. Immediately wanting to micromanage your life and taking on a wifey role when you’ve just a couple of nonchalant rolls in the hay can signal a neediness you’re not prepared to deal with.
Emotionally Frigid
She was fun and games for weeks but as the time goes by you realize that she is little else. When you’re appreciating each other’s company alone she is pleasant and enjoyable but doesn’t ever want to cuddle or hang out leaving you feeling faintly used. When some women run from any sort of emotional dependency what is really happening is a her mind is rebelling against the idea of a fun and carefree relationship because she has never experienced it in her past. Her mind doesn’t believe it is worth the time to open up and be inviting to anyone because it will just turn out badly in the end.
She is Closed-lipped About Her Past
Being private is one thing but when you realize you know absolutely nothing about this girl other than the bare necessities it could be a bad sign. Most people find past relationships and troubling childhood difficult to talk about but not talking about any part of the past is unusual and can mean she is hiding something.
Having one or two of these behavioral traits isn’t a for sure signal that she has immense emotional baggage but it merits more investigation. Since everyone carries some emotional baggage and no one is perfect, you can rest assured she will have one or two bad, weird or just off days during your run together. Don’t panic. Let her know it may be casual sex and your always available as a friend and it will go a long way.