How To Tell If Your Sex Buddy Is Damaged Goods
The dynamic between sex buddies is an interesting one, to be sure. You’re a little past the point of anonymous sex (read the rules), and yet not quite entering the relationship zone. As guys, we always hear horror stories about men who find out their girlfriend or wife is far more damaged than they were led to believe, and this can often scare us out of taking the leap from “sex buddy” to “boyfriend.” If you like the girl you’re sleeping with, but think you may be noticing some details about her life that in which you don’t want to get involved, try taking a look at some of her habits and figure out if she might be damaged goods.
She’s surrounded by drama
She doesn’t just create drama, she lives for drama. She NEEDS drama in order to keep her interested in her own life. Any moment of tranquility is instant boredom for her, and she can’t seem to get along with anyone because she enjoys starting problems so much. You may notice that every time she meets someone new or talks about anyone, she can’t resist throwing shade their way. Or maybe she tries starting fights with you for no reason, or does terrible things to purposely get you angry. The sex may be great, but if you notice all the drama she needs once you’re out of bed, then you might want to think twice about taking things a step further. Click here to learn how to spot a drama queen.
She has difficulty coping
If you notice that she can’t ever really seem to be able to deal with problems in her life in a healthy way, then this could be a good indication of some social damage lurking there. Everyone deals with stress differently, and occasional use of some good old-fashioned sex or an ice-cold beer doesn’t indicate a problem. But if you notice that even the smallest problems cause her to head toward the nearest stash of alcohol or drugs, then you may want to think about how the future of your arrangement will work out. Treating all of her stress with sex, by the way, may not sound like a bad agreement, but if she relies on it every time she becomes stressed out, you may just end up being used like an addict uses a drug.
She Is Unstable
If you feel like you are always supporting her, either financially or emotionally, then that should clue you in on some underlying damage that you need to be careful handling. Sex buddies are primarily there for sex, which, apart from the occasional time when sex is needed for emotional reasons, should be entirely fun and stress-free. By no means should you feel like you are supporting her financially, and you should probably not become used to being her emotional crutch. If either of these are the case, take a closer look at what’s really going on.
She Is Manipulative
Most women who would be considered damaged goods (and even men, if you’re reading this from the other side of the fence), have one thing in common: they manipulate for lack of other social skills. Keep an eye on how your sex buddy interacts with you, and think to yourself, Am I just doing what she wants because she guilted me into it? Because she messed with my head? Because she’s blackmailing me? Learn if blackmailing is illegal here. If you even think you might answer yes to either of those, then be on your guard. This is especially important to be on the lookout for if you often find her convincing you to pay for things. In a relationship as casual as “sex buddies,” there should be no occasion where you are constantly shelling out money for her.
She Is Fickle
If you find that you’re often unsure, and maybe a little afraid, of what your sex buddy’s mood is going to be today, then you need to start asking yourself whether it’s worth dealing with. People who are classified as damaged goods by others don’t know what they want, and so they tend to want everything at different times. Maybe some days she just wants to keep it casual, while other days she is pressuring you to get more serious with her. This is an especially large red flag if you discuss going further and mutually agree to just stay sex buddies, and then she continues to pressure you the next day or next week. Consistency is a pretty good measure of emotional stability, so it’s always a good idea to keep an eye on what’s making her tick each day and keep track of how often she surprises you in bad ways. Sometimes, people just have bad days. Consistently, well…your sex buddy is damaged goods.