How To Have A Threesome The Right Way
Traditional relationships still hold the majority on dating and marriage, but it seems like these institutions are becoming more and more openly progressive each year. Now, that’s not to say that nobody ever had orgies or threesomes until recently. Hell, look at Woodstock! But if you really think about it, men and women who are in relationships interested in threesomes or much more open and calculating about the task than they were a couple decades ago. Traditional values of marriage are changing and every limit becomes stretched to find the new boundary, adding complex layers and unspoken rules to sexual acts once simple, like the classic threesome. Read the basic threesome rules.
There are several different types of threesomes that anyone could encounter while dating, and even while married. A few of them are a little less intimate. Three friends may just naturally fall into a threesome, especially when the booze has been flowing and sexual tensions are high. A single person may find themselves in bed with their married friends spontaneously, or a couple may make a calculated decision to hunt a single friend down and introduce them into their sex life. Any of these can be an uncomplicated blast or an awkward pitfall in the relationships between these three, and the personalities of those involved and the circumstances of the threesome have everything to do with its success.
The right timing is critical
No matter what situation your threesome is presenting itself in, timing is important to keep it from becoming awkward. When three single friends are together and having a great time, everyone will individually be able to sense the impending threesome before clothes are ripped off. Alcohol is usually involved and the sexual tension will be high. If you’re feeling it, but you can’t tell if your other two friends are on the same wavelength, start talking about sex and steer the conversation in that direction. Don’t be creepy about it, but let them know subtextually what’s on your mind. Either they’ll get into the conversation and start sending similar vibes your way, or you’ll figure out that they are trying to take the conversation somewhere else instead. Whatever you do, don’t force it.
If you’re a couple looking to add a third to the bedroom, make sure you first understand why you want a threesome and how it can affect your relationship. If you want to keep your relationship afloat, reasons and maturity are everything. Depending on who the couple is and how sexually ambiguous the individuals are, spontaneous threesomes with a friend can happen in a similar way as three single friends. If you are making a calculated decision to add a third wheel, then find someone you think would be a good addition, talk it through, and spend more time with him or her until you feel that the timing is right to either make it happen “spontaneously” or formally introduce the idea. This doesn’t mean you have to plan every detail, however.
Know what to plan and how much
Anyone who has had a couple threesomes under their belt can tell you that they are best when they happen organically. If someone has to actually bring up the threesome in the moment or start making rules as clothes are coming off, then the magic becomes as dull and dead as “I’m ovulating, so get me pregnant or we’re divorcing” sex. This is a no-brainer for the three friends who can sense the tension and are all playing the subtext game to get each other naked, but keeping things unplanned in the moment can be tricky for couples who need to collude to get a friend into bed. If you are a couple trying to add a third for some personal reason, then absolutely set some rules between the two of you, like “no past lovers.” Safeguard your relationship first. Decide on a friend together and plan out time to spend with them alone, almost like you’re dating him as a couple. But when the time comes to throw off your clothes, keep everything in subtext. It is still sex, after all, so don’t get too much in your head.
The individual personalities involved are everything
Even if the timing is right, it’s spontaneous in the moment, and the necessary details have been worked out beforehand, threesomes can be terrible if the wrong people are involved. Relatively easy-going individuals make the best participants. There is no place for jealousy, neuroticism, or shyness, otherwise there will be some weird tension in the air. Most of all, everyone needs to regress to preschool lessons and keep a sense or sharing, turn-taking, and fair play in the mix. No one wants to feel neglected in a threesome. Just remember that, even if a threesome doesn’t feel natural to you, it is sex and should be enjoyed in the moment!