If you’re thinking about having an affair, one of the many things you’ll need to consider is the kind of man you’d like to have an affair with. Of the many options you have, perhaps the largest pool you’ll have to choose from is that of married men. There are certainly pros and cons to sleeping with someone who’s already married, and each are worth considering before you come to your decision.

Pro – Discretion

If you’re looking for someone who can guarantee you that they’ll never leak a word of your affair, a married man is your guy. They have just as much to lose as you do, maybe even more. He has a wife, a home, a life, maybe even kids and he certainly doesn’t want to let all of that be destroyed for the sake of sex, no matter how good the sex might be. This is especially important if you’re also in a relationship yourself, or are generally in a position where your life would be severely negatively impacted if you were outed as “the other woman.”

Con – It’ll Never Be More

The problem with long term affairs with one particular person is that feelings can occur. This is especially true in an affair since you may not feel like you can talk to anyone else about your problems. As a result you end up talking to them more often. You spend time together, sharing your secrets and having fantastic sex on stolen evenings and weekends. It’s not abnormal for feelings to appear between the two of you over time, but the problem is there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s not going to go anywhere beyond where it is. He’s not going to leave his wife for you, there are no wedding bells in your future, and it can be difficult to keep in mind that what you signed up for isn’t going to involve past what it is like many relationships do naturally.

Pro – The Allure of the Forbidden

Married men can give you some of the best sex of your life. They’re cheating for a reason, and that reason usually has to do with lots of sexual repression. There’s a lot of pressure building up there that is ready to burst, and you get to be that catalyst. This boy is going to be ready to rock your world, he’ll do almost anything and everything to make sure you’re happy. Doing the forbidden brings its own special thrill, and that can make both of you wilder and hotter than you’d ever imagined. A lot of cheaters are adrenaline junkies and get off on doing the forbidden. Sex in public, sex in cars, sex in churches and in any other place they aren’t supposed to have it. Extramarital affairs are considered wrong by just about every definition you could imagine, so it can definitely add a little spring to your step.

Con – It Comes with a Serious Stigma

If, God forbid, you should be found out, being seen as the “other woman” comes with some serious stigma. Regardless of the fact that your married man was just as much of a participant in your relationship as you were, you’re going to be the one that’s seen as the home wrecker. His wife will blame you, their family friends will blame you, and his mother will blame you. Depending on how well known he is the scandal may even make the local paper, smearing your name across the headlines and making you the subject of local gossip. This can have far reaching consequences, making things difficult for you socially, but potentially professionally as well. You aren’t going to sell many houses, for example, if everyone in the area hates you.

Pro – It’s Cheaper Than a Real Relationship

When you’re sleeping with a married man, there are no anniversaries to honor. You aren’t going to exchange Christmas gifts or take him out to a nice dinner on his birthday. After all, if he suddenly showed up with a nice looking gift his wife might get suspicious. Dating a married man is a great way to get all the benefits of a sexual relationship without having to dip into your pocket.

Con – There’s Going to Be Guilt

Eventually it may hit you that your sexual satisfaction is coming at a price, and that price may be higher than it’s worth. Almost everyone engaged in an affair has moments of guilt at various points during the relationship, perhaps when you call one day and his wife answers, or you see a drawing in his briefcase that his kid did for him. Guilt can be difficult to deal with, and it’s important to decide pretty early on if it’s something you can manage for the long haul.

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